I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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