Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
