just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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