I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
