Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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