just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can I color on your dick again?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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