I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
