No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
