No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Say something about gay babies.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
