I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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