Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
