Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
