"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
