He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
