I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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