My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
