I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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