Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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