So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can feel your judgement through the phone
try to milk me bitch
send nudes
from the living room?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
