Pappa wants mamma naked
its not stalking. its research.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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