i permit you to call me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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