I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
