I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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