You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
