Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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