I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
