nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
