New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
