I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
