id be glad to
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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