What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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