Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
