The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
