We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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