You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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