no, he came in my armpit
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
