sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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