Who did Billy Mays play for?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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