last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
