I hate your face
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
