then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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