he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
