the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
