so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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