real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so that wasnt chicken after all
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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