I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
