You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pooping to opera.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
