So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
