Im at strip club and am horny
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
