My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
