dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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