I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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