Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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