Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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