That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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