I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
