who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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