she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
