the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I faked an abortion last night.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
